They say that good leaders must have a thorough knowledge of its own strengths and weaknesses in order to lead appropriately. They also say that one’s life failure can be traced from their traits and hidden weaknesses.
I can name famous people who has stumbled and fall which was brought by their own unresolved inner-self issues or what they call weaknesses.
Tiger Woods – famous golfer, achiever of known golf competitions such as PGA tour. Now, what happened to him?
FACTS: PROFESSIONAL CAREER – OUTSTANDING. No.1, people idolize him, aspiring golfers and children look up to him as their ROLE MODEL.
PERSONAL LIFE – SEX ADDICT, cheated his wife over prostitutes, some say it shoot up to 19 women that he allegedly hooked up with.
Richard Nixon – FACTS: former US president did not finish his term because of the water gate scandal
BILL CLINTON - FACTS: PROFESSIONAL CAREER - US ex president before George Bush Jr., great president
PERSONAL LIFE - he had an affair with Monica Lewinsky (an intern who worked at the white house)
The question is; can their entire downfall be linked to not having self awareness? What is self awareness anyway? – is it really necessary for each individual to be self-aware? What does it mean by dealing with inner-self issues?
I’ll start this blog by stating my own understanding and experiences, it may not work for some but I hope it could somewhat be of help to others.
I never knew the essentials of self awareness, until I took the LEADERSHIP subject under my mentor Mr. Louie Montalbo in ateneo graduate school of business.
Now, what are my weaknesses and how was I able to unravel it? – Well, it’s not an overnight thing wherein you can just sleep on it then the next day when you wake up… whala! The answers are already right in front of you.
The journey of authentic leadership begins with understanding the story of your life.
Some say, to better yourself you must work on your strengths, develop it. But I say, to be truly effective in what you do, first you OUGHT to work on your weaknesses. Settle your issues.
Most successful people emerged through their life stories, by deep self-assessment of what they are and what they are not.
I am an extrovert, empathetic and a too trusting person.
I tend to be too (emotionally) dependent on people. I am a people-pleaser (which I found out when I took the Enneagram test)
I tend to be attached to people.
I am by nature sweet, thoughtful, caring and I don’t like it when someone is mad at me or upset with me.
Apparently, in my past relationship most of them failed in the end. – So, I ask myself, why so? Is something wrong with me?
Without me noticing it, I am at fault too.
Yes people. I admit. I have a HUGE CHUNK of contribution for those failures.
You wanna know how? … Let’s open the Pandora’s box…
Well, since most of the time I people-please my way through life, I would do anything and everything people around me say – which is my weakness…
Because I don’t want to be abandoned by them so I told myself I can’t fail them. If I do, I’m screwed! I became so emotionally dependent that it’s like I was LIVING FOR THEM. The reason why exist is FOR THEM.
I guess my vulnerability was too obvious that they know whatever they say, I will just follow. Believe me, when I say it’s not just boys who have scarred my past but friends (so-called friends) way back in college. One of them even made me pawn the ring that my mom gave me just so she could get the money.
Crazy and stupid right? Yeah. I know.But back then my justification for such actions was; I’m doing these people a favor (even it means I go do something out-of-the-usual)
My best friend use to say to me “you’re too damn trusting” is this true? Am I really at fault? Should I be blamed for this? The answer is… Yes.
It took me time to discover the means for these causes. In order for me to do so, self-assessment must be done.
But how? ...
I guess I can say the 3page realization paper submitted each week to Mr. Montalbo was one of the contributing factors for these discoveries.
I finally had the guts to say to me “you brought this upon yourself”
There’s nothing wrong with these issues… the question is how should I deal with it?
Upon realizing these weaknesses, I started to learn to love myself and learned to deal with my issues. Now that I am fully aware of it, I can therefore acknowledge the circumstances and situations I should not get myself into.
I am not perfect; there are irresistible temptations for we live in an imperfect world and at times when things get tough and certain emotions sinks in…thoughts of giving in run through my mind but at the end of the day, I know I shouldn't and it takes a whole lot of courage to do so and keep my integrity in tact. I suppose I am a work in progress.
Now, I don’t need someone to inspire me to be motivated neither will I depend my means of living on someone.
I am learning not to doubt myself for DOUBT IS AS POWERFUL AND SUSTAINING AS CERTAINTY.
Happiness should not be relied on someone or something but, it relies on one’s contentment and a deep personal relationship with the Lord.
No one can make me whole as a person but myself.
I know now that my life’s decisions and actions is my own accountability.
Discovering one’s authentic self is not a destination… but to me it’s a journey and an achievement.
