As the third quarter of this year draws to a close at long last I came to terms with being civil (if not close friends) with Aris. We broke up three years ago for the reason being that he lied to me. For two years, he tried reaching out to me but to no avail. At the time I was cross with him and just couldn't bring myself to accept his apology and bestow my forgiveness. In my head I thought how can I easily give my forgiveness towards someone who has caused me pain and deceived me through his web of lies. Him and I never had closure since I just stopped talking to him while there were things still left unsaid.
Fastforward to this year, for some apparent reason I took the initiative to speak with him again. In the beginning it was awkward on my part because he was still wooing me, trying his luck with me again. After days of back and forth texting and facebook messaging, something amazing happened...
For the first time in a long time I was able to tell him everything that I have been harboring for years. I told him why I kept my distance, what I felt when he broke my heart and after airing all the spiteful feelings that he caused me I finally gave him my forgiveness.
And as soon as I said that a sudden calmness envelopes me and stilled my heart, it was liberating. It was like a certain weight just got lifted off my back. The hatred that was weighing me down vanished in an instant, like it was taken away from me. It takes God's grace, maturitiy and a whole lot of time to get to the point where I could get to terms with what happened and say I was okay with it. That even if I have moved on from him already, I still need to make a choice to forgive him and show compassion.
For it is better to be compasstionate than to be bitter your whole life.
Fastforward to this year, for some apparent reason I took the initiative to speak with him again. In the beginning it was awkward on my part because he was still wooing me, trying his luck with me again. After days of back and forth texting and facebook messaging, something amazing happened...
For the first time in a long time I was able to tell him everything that I have been harboring for years. I told him why I kept my distance, what I felt when he broke my heart and after airing all the spiteful feelings that he caused me I finally gave him my forgiveness.
And as soon as I said that a sudden calmness envelopes me and stilled my heart, it was liberating. It was like a certain weight just got lifted off my back. The hatred that was weighing me down vanished in an instant, like it was taken away from me. It takes God's grace, maturitiy and a whole lot of time to get to the point where I could get to terms with what happened and say I was okay with it. That even if I have moved on from him already, I still need to make a choice to forgive him and show compassion.
For it is better to be compasstionate than to be bitter your whole life.
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| Aris |
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