Coldest End

There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kiss still linger and your whispers softly echo. It's a place where a part of you will forever be a part of me no matter what so I'm sending this out to the void hoping that somehow it reaches you.

Insomina Is Killing Me

My Insomnia is getting worse... Before, 3am was the usual time I doze-off to sleep but now, regardless of what I do to fall asleep (i.e. drink milk, count sheep) it just doesn't work. For a couple of nights now I don't fall asleep until 5am (my eyes finally grows weary while I hear the rooster crows).


While almost all the Philippine population is peacefully sleeping, I am wide awake, trying to sleep; I'm desperate and contemplating of purchasing an extra strength sleeping pill just so to knock me out. The only problem there is, are the sleeping pills prescribed?

In Love There Is...Life After Death

Breaking up from a close relationship is never easy regardless if it was you who left or you who were dumped. It takes a long time to get over a relationship. Letting go and forgetting is the worst part of the moving on process and it has been a year and a month now since my emancipation from my 7 years relationship.

I've been going out since; went out on 3 dates already and I must say the first one was a complete disaster; the second was outrageous yet remarkable, the third one was just mundane, nothing special really but overall it was all an interesting experience to say the least.

I never knew I still had it in me, to have the guts to go out again; on a date that is.  Breakups and separation is dreadfully painful and agonizing but then again, why does God allow us (HIS creation) to go through such phase?  The painful experience rocked me to my core. As a Christian, I questioned God. But then, God’s plans surpasses all understanding.

Admittedly, while coping with the pain and loss, I felt my life drifting away; slowly losing the grasp of life’s meaning. I put up a façade that everything was normal, dealing with whatever life throws at me but deep inside, my soul was dying. 

The hurt and loneliness was just so overwhelming that I cry myself to sleep at night. My sleep was restless and I woke up many times during the night. I was a big ball of break-up mess. The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live.

As much as I hated hearing my well-intentioned girlfriends tell me that time would heal all wounds (and why must girlfriends always say this?) they were right. I'm healing a broken heart and tending to myself.

My primary concern was finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. It is only by being confident enough to face the present can you move on and look forward to whatever it is that lies ahead.

As I started to piece every event in my head, I made an effort to find better ways to deal with my own shadows, what my strengths and weaknesses are.

Every human being is different and deals with loss in various ways. Some are carefree and others are excessively or abnormally emotional. Wellness, physical or mental, depends largely on how we perceive a loss.

Indeed, one’s life is not dictated by fate but by the decisions we make. I decided to hang on to my faith and to the promise that God will bestow His loving grace upon me. By the help of faith, perseverance and a whole lot of time, I was over the pain.

Finally! It passed. I am pass that stage and found myself on the road to self discovery. Because it is through tragedy that we come to terms with our capabilities and reassess our self worth.

As I started to rekindle lost relationships with old friends, I succumbed to the realization that genuine friends no matter what, will always be there. No matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends. 


For instance, my best friend who I love dearly I commend her for all the wild and crazy experiences I have had in the past. (I need not go into details). Love you, Krizel! ♥ 


The wound that was once excruciatingly painful has now left a scar in my heart. Although things weren't the same as before well, all it takes is me getting use to it. Keeping an open mind on every situation sure does help a lot. I am starting to become whole again (the “me” that was once broken and shattered into a thousand pieces)


It is by God’s grace that I am what I am now.  I am thankful for every break in my heart and grateful for every scar that was caused by my past experiences because If it weren't for it,  I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. 

There’s a saying that “you will never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” We have to become stronger, while not shutting off our feelings for the hope of one day being healed and finding love and/or happiness again.


Am I past the disappointments and struggles? No. as long as I'm alive it will not go away


But now; I accept it as it is and live through it. For self knowledge and self discipline form the foundation for staying alive. The only predictable in life is its unpredictability and one must learn to adapt to it. What is certain... nothing but CHANGE.

What if it all means something, each event in our lives? Looking back, now I can confidently say, that if it weren't for the breakup I wouldn't have made new wonderful friends, I wouldn't have made a commitment to better myself one of which is by taking up MBA and hopefully pursue a doctorate degree in business management and so much more. 


My goals turned towards personal growth being exposed to so many things, having made risks which I never thought I’ll make but I did, made me feel human again. 

Having gone through hell and back, I must say I am still alive.  Alive In every sense of the word, seizing opportunities and doing things that makes me happy.

A midst the loss and tragedy when it comes to LOVE there is indeed....LIFE after DEATH.

my best friend, Krizel