Taking The First Step Makes All The Difference

One of my best guy buddy Ferdinand Gabriel (or Gabby to his friends / Ferdie to me) has always wanted to study MBA (Masters in Business Administration) for as long as I have known him I know that it has been his desire but he just couldn't seem to bring himself to do it. For months he has been pondering on the idea of taking it but due to circumstances he keeps putting it off. 

In life in order to grow it is paramount that we surround ourselves with positive, driven and passionate people for their influence and behaviour will eventually rub off on us and I guess one of the reasons why God allowed Gab and I to reconnect again because as friends we influence each other positively. 

Just yesterday, October 2 he finally did the first step in fulfilling one of his life's goals. I went to Ateneo Professional School with him as he submitted his requirements and registered for the entrance test. One of Gab's greatest trait is his passion to learn unceasingly and even though at times he needs to go through life's detours he keeps on and pushes through til he achieves his goals by clinging to his faith in God and being resilient regardless the situation. 

According to Les Brown we should never stop improving ourselves and work hard on investing for our self development for only then can we only be fulfilled not only by achieving our life's goals but also evolving into someone great because God created us all to be great. For there is greatness in all of us we just need to harness it so we can make a difference in this world and inspire others to do the same.

I am extremely proud of him for he is courageous to take the first step towards achieving one of his life's goals and in life that's just what matters, taking the first step and keeping on it. Sometimes we have to stop putting off our dreams aside and start working on it while we still can for we never know what tomorrow brings.

Ferdinand Gabriel 

I Couldn't Ask For More

Thank you my Lord Jesus, for making me see another year and for the gift of life. Thank you for all the people who remembered me today my friends, relatives, and love ones by sending greetings, messages and good wishes. Thank you for all the experience of this past year; for times of success which will always be happy memories, for times of failure which reminded me of my own weakness and of my need for you. Thank you for the times of joy and sunshiny days, for the sad and cloudy ones; for the calm afternoons and the dark nights; for the love and for all beautiful and sweet things; for the loneliness, for the worries, for the fears, for the difficulties and the tears; and for everything that brought me closer to You. Forgive me for the hours I wasted, for the chances I failed to take and for the opportunities I missed this past year. Help me in the days ahead to make this the best year yet, and through it to bring GLORY TO YOU, happiness and pride to my friends and loved ones, and joy to me. 

Thanks to all my friends and loved ones; who are always there for me, understand me and remain with me. Thank you so much for making my day with your adorable wishes. You are truly amazing; there is nothing good like being remembered on ones' big day. Each wish really meant a lot to me and absolutely made my day; it will keep me strong and passionate and courageous. Thank you to those who have motivated me and pushed me to greater heights. All of You have been a source of inspiration to me in one way or the other. Thanks to all the people who have helped me build my personality, I am what I am because of you. Thank You for making me feel absolutely loved and important! I'm not the measure of what I have done but more of who I am and those who I have surrounded myself with, which you are all.

How Forgiving My Ex Boyfriend Liberated Me

As the third quarter of this year draws to a close at long last I came to terms with being civil (if not close friends) with Aris. We broke up three years ago for the reason being that he lied to me. For two years, he tried reaching out to me but to no avail. At the time I was cross with him  and just couldn't bring myself to accept his apology and bestow my forgiveness. In my head I thought how can I easily give my forgiveness towards someone who has caused me pain and deceived me through his web of lies.  Him and I never had closure since I just stopped talking to him while there were things still left unsaid.

Fastforward to this year, for some apparent reason I took the initiative to speak with him again. In the beginning it was  awkward on my part because he was still wooing me, trying his luck with me again. After days of back and forth texting and facebook messaging, something amazing happened...

For the first time in a long time I was able to tell him everything that I have been harboring for years. I told him why I kept my distance, what I felt when he broke my heart and after airing all the spiteful feelings that he caused me I finally gave him my forgiveness.

And as soon as I said that a sudden calmness envelopes me and stilled my heart, it was liberating. It was like a certain weight just got lifted off my back. The hatred that was weighing me down vanished in an instant, like it was taken away from me. It takes God's grace, maturitiy and a whole lot of time to get to the point where I could get to terms with what happened and say I was okay with it. That even if I have moved on from him already, I still need to make a choice to forgive him and show compassion.

For it is better to be compasstionate than to be bitter your whole life.

Aris

Who He Is To Me

Since it's Mark Lee's birthday tomorrow (August 2), I will take this opportunity to share to everyone how he has touched my life. I've known him since 2008 back when he used to wear hawaiian shirts to school. As a person, Mark is optimistic, honest, decisive, committed, kind-hearted and a giver, he would graciously organize outreach program that is why when he became student council President in Ateneo Graduate School of Business from (2010-2011) we, his friends knew he was right where he should be. 

As a brother and son, Mark is responsible and respectful to his family. As a friend, he is the glue that brings our group together, aside from consistent hangouts on weekends, he makes it a point that the group is complete during special occasions. 

Mark is loyal, trustworthy, dependable and reliable. He is someone I can tell my deepest secrets to, struggles, insecurities without judgement and hesitation, he is always there. He is the person that if I get into trouble, I know I could call him any time of the day because he never cease to lend a helping hand. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Chief! Thank you for being a blessing to me and I pray for long life for you so you can touch more lives and make a difference to others as you have made in mine. Love you! 

My Great Perhaps

Dealing with disappointment is one of the toughest situations I have to overcome. The anxiety that comes with it is too intense that it seems unbearable at the moment.

May it be rejection, failed desire or a broken dream that caused the disappointment call it what you want the effect is still a broken heart.

For a long time I've been hang up on someone I thought was good for me. I made a fantasy of him in my head to the point that I put him in a pedestal. Every guy I met and dated after him, has to have at least his qualities.

Not every person is the same but there was something with Gabe that was so mesmerizing or addicting that I just have to have it so I made him the benchmark of each guy I met.

Even if I was the one who broke up with him, it was me who still seek him for eight years. Subconsciously, I wanted to rekindle what we had back then that he is still the same person I once knew.

Before I got here, I was full of hope that once I found him my life will be beautiful again because with him regardless of the circumstances life is always sunshine and rainbows. With him I wasn't lost but home.

People change, that I'd never anticipated or I was too in denial because I was too captivated by the fantasy I made of him in my head.

Inevitably, after finding him the opposite happened. You could imagine how crushed my world was. I was more lost and more broken hearted than ever. I didn't know better.

He was my great perhaps. I went seeking for him to find my way out of my labyrinth but turns out, I am more stuck now than I was before.

Labyrinth

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

You know the saying be careful what you wish for, you just might get it?... 

If I knew then what I know now then I would have wasted years hoping that I find it.

Regrets and mistakes they are memories made. Should I regret? I am still looking for the answer. 

What wrecks me is the reality that I hoped for nothing.

Hope is what made me believe that somewhere out the horizon, is something bright to look forward to.

Moving forward, I am in the long process of picking up what is left of the shattered hope and go on to conquer life one battle at a time.

One day I hope against hope that I find my way out of my labyrinth.